The Ocean - Ocean news and guide

	Ocean home
	Latest News
	Expedition List
	Ocean Weather
	Rowing Stats

Ocean Guide

The Dream

Point Zero

Preparations

Atlantic Crossing

People

Community

Newsletters

SMS Big E!

WAP/PPC/I-mode

Roslin: It's over

Related Links

Expedition website
Previous story

Dec 15, 2004 05: 34 EST
Previuosly published Oct 24, 2004 19: 16 EST

Following is the message Roslin wrote to her Sponsor Friday:

"I have chosen to abandon the dream of a lifetime. My frustrations come because my decision involves far more than just one person; it involves so many others who have helped me get to where I am now. For this reason I think it is generally understood that this is perhaps one of the hardest decisions I will have ever had to ever make. I say the following with regret, but with my head held high and a smile behind my tears.

Don't want to spend ten months, alone

I was upset with my decision, or realization, that a solo circumnavigator is not for me.

The question that I was asked so many times and I hear repeatedly in my head; "Why is it you want to spend ten months, alone, sailing around the world?" If you ask most people they would shake their heads, perhaps make a face and say, "I don't!" And that's exactly it. It takes a certain kind of person to do such a sail; a person with a serious amount of grit.

Don't need months of misery to prove it

There has, for many years been an English sailor, a few years older than me, whom I have always been jealous of and looked up to. (If you're a sailor and don't know of Ellen McArthur please look into this girl!) I think of Ellen now and all the amazing things she has accomplished and I feel no jealously. Like so many others I look up to her in admiration. I now know that I don't share the same outstanding qualities that she does. It just isn't me and that's OK. I don't need to put myself through months of misery to prove it to myself or to anyone else.

I knew someone would give me a boat, and they did

I look at all that I have accomplished in a little over two years. I decided to go sailing. To do this I needed a suitable boat. I knew someone would give me a boat, and they did. I knew I would miraculously find a sponsor, and I did. I knew I would get that boat ready and fix her myself (without any previous experience), and I did. Unfortunately I made a mistake about myself.

Thought I had what it takes

I thought I had what it takes to sail solo around the world but I was wrong. In discovering this I have also learnt many other things about myself. I feel fortunate to have experienced what I have so far. I am proud of my determination to have made my dream this far.

As professional sailors have told me, half the battle is getting to the start line. I got there. It took a lot of determination and help from others to get there. I know it was a mistake on my part to not have put aside an hour every day to mentally prepare myself for the sailing. For fourteen months all my energy was focused into making sure she was ready.

My boy friend from Australia

The pain comes not from letting myself down, because I am not, it comes for everyone that has helped and encouraged me this far. I thought in the beginning that I could have arrived at the start by myself. I was wrong!

I had outstanding support from two very important people. One is of course John McMillan, the President of the worldwide negotiating skills training company, Scotwork, without whom I would have never financially been able to make it.

There is another man I'd like to tell you about, who isn't so well known, Dal Harper, my boy friend from Australia, who came to Canada for eight months.

He poured his heart and soul into 'Scotwork' as he voluntarily helped me rebuild her. Slowly, everyday he helped to make my dream come true. It was not easy: Vancouver's record breaking rains, the 5:30 am starts, seven days a week, minimum 12 hour days, grinding off old gel coat and the 40C temperatures as we faired in the summer months in the shed. For much of the time we were living aboard other smaller boats in the harbour. So long as I fed him plenty of tobacco and beer he never complained. 'Scotwork' would have been far from ready without Dal's dedicated work.

I hope my decision hasn't taken this quality away to be given to others

Along with my parents and sailing friends, it is these two men which made such a decision a painful one. To see so much faith and encouragement from them, and others, is I think the best gift I have ever been given. Thank you. I hope my decision hasn't taken this quality away from you to be given to others.

I'd like to thank all the people who have supported me in any and every way. My only hope is that none of these acts of support are now felt as a waste.

Today, for the first time, I have been smiling all day

The clouds have come down low and turned a threatening grey color. Peter O’Donnell, who has generously supplied my personal weather forecasts, has taken on the same symbol as perhaps your weather reporter on TV. I get mad at him when he tells me I'm in for yet another 'doozey' of up to 40 knots before I can make land fall. After speaking with Tony Gooch we had thoughts that I would slowly drift into San Fran by am Sunday. The weather may change that.

On sending my last update I realize I had totally avoided what has been consuming my mind for some time. Today, for the first time, I have been smiling all day (except for when the engine wouldn't start a second time) and feeling more myself.

All I can think about is dripping cheese burger and fries

This morning I was forcing down the water as stomach cramps from dehydration set in. I have been going through my 10 months of food stores trying to find something appealing. All I can think about as far as food goes, is the all American super sized dripping cheese burger and fries.

Andrea Bocelli fills the cabin as he pleasantly distracts me from my constant food fantasies. I hear his music and feel that perhaps the only way for me to sanely continue my journey would be to have music on all the time. My head can rest and stop wondering about all the 'what if's' of being on land.

Engine failure

I am concerned to see land because of the dangers it brings with it! As a major port it has ships from afar making it their destination; just think of all those burger ingredients they have to import! Even at over 400 n miles offshore I saw freighters pass close by.

As I get closer there are shipping lanes to watch out for, the Farallon Islands to avoid, the tides and day light hours to time, and hopes that my engine will want to start! She was a bad girl today. I started her for 15 minutes then decided the breeze was back (this was in efforts to make the planned ETA for the Golden Gates).

Murphy was just playing his usual tricks though. Away the breeze went, so I tried to start the engine again. Only this time she didn’t turn over at all. Think it's to do with the kill switch knob wanting to stay in the 'off' position. I will look at it again in the morning.

Speaking of patience I fully lost it yesterday

All the while I have written this lengthy mail my beautiful sails have been flogging. I am happy to say I will not have to endure another ten months of such a patience testing noise!

Speaking of patience I fully lost it yesterday, twice. The winds were probably too light for Monitor (my self steering gear) without her light air vane (which doesn't fit because Pro-Tek made my arch too low!). I set her to steer a close reach but she was adamant on running down wind.

I yelled up at the sky, "I just want to go home!"

I squatted next to her to watch her and try and understand. I kept looking at the Windex, then at the tiller and screaming. I sat and hand steered to show her what I wanted. Nope. The air was mighty blue after ten minutes of hysteria. I would have looked seriously mad to anyone watching.

Not a half hour later the wind died and the sails flogged badly with the left over swell. After days of crying and not knowing what decision to come to I was immensely frustrated to be stopped in my tracks. I felt so powerless. I yelled up at the sky, "I just want to go home! Why can't I go? What's wrong with you? Just give me some ******* wind!"

I still love the ocean

Much the same insults and questions had been directed at Monitor previously. Luckily I didn't seriously offend anyone because last night I had my first picture perfect night. The water was calm, the moon shimmered on the water and stars twinkled down on us. 'Scotwork' sped along making me proud to read a constant 6-7 knots on the GPS as we reached towards land.

I still love the ocean and will see the South someday, just not today. Not to worry, I have come far from losing my taste for adventure!

Thank you for all your emails, they are forwarded to me here on 'Scotwork'. I apologize for not responding to them all. Many from people I will never meet, they made me smile and cry. Thank you for taking the effort to write!

Sincerely, Ros"

Today, Sunday - the following message arrived from Ros mum:

Date: Sun 10/24/2004 09.43 am PST
Subject: Ros Has Landed

Good Morning All,
Just had a call from Ros 20 minutes ago, she had been towed in for about 7 miles to the Coast Guard Station at the Golden Gate Bridge and is probably enjoying a hot shower right now. She sounds happy and will start replying to the huge amount of emails that I am receiving.

Thank you for all that you have done for Ros, she has been very fortunate to have your help and guidance, many thanks.

Veronica (a Mum who will sleep tonight!)

Roslin Forrest, 23, left Canada two weeks ago, October 9, 2004, in an attempt to become the youngest woman to sail around the world single handed and non-stop. From Vancouver she was to sail south until Chile’s Cape Horn. Heading east in the Southern Ocean all the way to New Zealand’s Southwest Cape then heading north in the Pacific again and home to Vancouver. She estimated a return in less than 10 months from her true departure date of October 9, 2004.

Some records in the realm of round-the-world sailing are; Ellen MacArthur, British, 24yrs 7 months, youngest woman to sail around the world solo, non-stop and unassisted. 3 months to finish. Jesse Martin, Australian, 18 yr., youngest male to sail solo, unassisted, non-stop around the world. Kay Cotte, New Zealand woman, first to sail solo, unassisted, and non-stop. Jon Sanders, Australian, first to ever sail three times around, unassisted, non-stop.

Image of Roslin courtesy of RoslinForrest.com.

Feature Stories